May 10, 2021 § Leave a comment
Words, I thought, would tumble out
when I opened the door to them.
So I took a pen and readied paper
but there was breakfast with hot coffee
and so I talked, instead, for hours.
It’s fine. Isn’t the way to write a poem
through the experience of living my hours?
Whatever comes, no one is waiting
for me to hand over a poem.
Well, no one expects one, except my future self
But I think
I think she’ll understand
what happened on the way.
May 2, 2019 § Leave a comment
Now is the time for all good cats
to rise up from their afternoon naps
and shed the bulky, cold weather coats
leaving them on their keepers’ laps.
March 31, 2017 § Leave a comment
A fight is best for us mortals
who look forward to better weather
As long as our health is good ~
Better to die in autumn.
A fight is best
a stormy fight
so that Persephone can leave her lover
in a hot rage.
Her mother’s disposition becomes sunny
when she can spend a late March day
disparaging her daughter’s lord.
Persephone weeps in April
A touch of conflicted homesickness
Tears so light and soft
that they barely bend the flowers that
bloom in her footsteps
March 20, 2017 § Leave a comment
Love me like Persephone
Who sees spring return
And regrets six seeds
When the whole fruit
was in her fair hand…
Love me not.
February 10, 2017 § 1 Comment
I wanted wings, but for more than to fly:
To feel the growing of their folded weight
Close-pressed against my body while I lie
Enchambered in a still, suspended state
Spinning deep dreams like a cocoon silk thread;
Then when I wake, to stretch their wonderous span
With caution as I crawl out of my bed
And, drying, flutter like a painted fan
My colors with a slow, sensual sweep;
To bask under the sun’s lingering kiss,
To let the air caress away my sleep;
Beyond the wish to fly, I wanted this;
To show someone the breadth of my feelings
Given their freedom in the form of wings.
August 11, 2016 § Leave a comment
Day 30 → Best source of inspiration?
A huge source of inspiration for me is bad storytelling. By bad, I mean stories that don’t quite work for me in some way, not ones that are an affront to my taste. A good story may fill me with delight, and full, I won’t feel a need to add to it. A bad story will incite me to figure out what went wrong and how it would be more satisfying to me.
It’s a challenge, and challenges spark an urge to answer them. In life, I’m a fixer, something of an unhelpful trait in interpersonal relationships, but great for creativity.
It’s more than merely changing the ending. I’ve certainly done that to get over an excellent novel: after reading the final page of M. J. Hyland’s How the Light Gets In, I wrote for about an hour to create a hopeful future for the angsty protagonist of whom I had grown protective. I’ll plot out retellings of favorite fairytales in modern settings. I’ll find that a news article starts a story spinning out in my mind. Yet by far, it’s the stories that snag on my interest but don’t fulfill their promise that make my hands itch to write.
Creating a fix usually means taking a story down to its elements, then drawing all sorts of other things in to recombine and build up the elements I liked.
My best example of this is the epic fantasy quest adventure inspired while I was watching the first installment of The Hobbit movie trilogy. About halfway in, I had the realization that there were a lot of dudes in the movie, and wasn’t that kind of dated and odd? Sometimes, fiction from a past generation carries forward elements that seem strange from a modern perspective. A fantasy story with only one female character feels imbalanced.
Many fantasy novels (and tabletop role play games) draw on tropes taken from Tolkien. It started me thinking, what if there was an epic with the same tropes, but the characters were female? Just because? That seed of an idea has been planted into world elements I have been toying with for a while. I filled out the setting with the mythology of The 13th Chime, and placed it in the same geography, though centuries before Ciel and Jewel. It inspired me create backstory for the dragon Haxe from one of my short stories. Thus, I have the project Nine Warriors, in which farm girl Lirin gets pulled into a Canterbury Tales kind of pilgrimage with the mysterious old sorceress, Moss, and her fierce associates, on a journey fraught with peril and dragons.
August 9, 2016 § Leave a comment
Day 29 → How often do you think about writing?
Stories are a constant narration in my mind. Bloggers know this phenomenon, how it can be as if everything becomes a blog post, even while the time is being lived. But, as far as writing, the actual act of writing, I think about it about as often as I think about food. My friends can attest to how "this nom reminds me of another nom." During meals together, we often talk about other food while enjoying the food we have.
Writing is like that. I can be so fulfilled when I am poking away at a story, putting something down outside of my head. As I’ve been writing regularly, the actual work has increased in appeal. Writing time is a priority for me. I’ve needed it to take my mind away from "lifey stuff" and as an emotional balm. It’s escapism with a tangible product, and it engages me more deeply than a good movie can do.
If I could write anywhere, I would have more writing time, but I feel self-conscious when writing in a place with other people around, even other writers. I can only do some kinds of writing in a park or coffee shop. Mostly I need to be somewhere where I don’t feel exposed to being watched. I’m sure I make faces as I write! I know I can make myself cry.
Maybe I should take up wearing an obscuring black veil… (My inner goth teen loves that idea.)
August 8, 2016 § Leave a comment
Day 28 → Have you ever written a character with physical or mental disabilities?
Not as yet. I’ve started to feel out Farha as a low-vision character. That feels to me like an element of her story that I was missing. Farha, a preadolescent girl, is one of my brave heroes who can be mistaken for helpless. Her story is about an important event in that world’s history, and it carries my recurring theme of transformation. Farha’s transformation is about the death of her twin sister, not about growing up or "fixing" her, and all that seems to me like something important to say.
I’m not completely comfortable with taking a character and saying, "poof! now you have this characteristic!" So I might ask, "What if he was born without a right arm and hand?" or "What if she lost her hearing from childhood illness?" If that creates an interesting addition to their story, I’ll test it out.
The degree to which I haven’t written characters with disabilities is proportional to the number of people I know with those traits. I’ve noticed that fact a lot, lately. It makes me feel like I’m missing out on the perspective and experience of people I would find interesting. Unfortunately, I’m not very social to begin with.
August 5, 2016 § Leave a comment
Day 27 → Do appearances play a big role in your stories? How you go about designing your characters.
My players are anything but homogeneous. I would like to think that I have an inclination to diversity, but even if I don’t, as any character is developed, that character will go through the trait checklist.
I, myself, am a mixed-race woman who grew up with media and entertainment that primarily told stories about adult men of northern European ancestry. Because of that, I can’t thoughtlessly default to either females with brown skin nor caucasian males. What I strive to improve is to realize characters with physical "disabilities," widen my depictions of gender, and challenge other defaults.
When I’m designing a new group of characters, I will look at online images of actual people, not artwork, and keep those photo references. When I’m looking through images, I’m looking for something I will recognize when I see the person. Most online photos are of models; it’s challenging to find someone like my character among so many beautiful, young people. I have to gather what I can, as a starting point. (My reference photo for Ciel is still far too good looking. When I come across it, I can’t help snorting. He’s a washed out turnip compared to the sun-kissed, surfer god that is in my reference image.)
In pre-writing, it can help to write out a long, detailed description of physical characteristics. I like to know decide on concrete numbers for height, weight, hat size, shoe size, collar and bra size. Details end up leading to stories about their lives, and that helps me get to know them better.
It’s a rare thing for me to say that I want a character with certain physical characteristics and then create a character around those. I don’t think of people that way, so I don’t think of characters that way.
August 3, 2016 § Leave a comment
Day 26 → Do you draw your characters? Do others draw them?
I don’t have the practice to draw well. I’d like to have the time to draw, but if I doodle, I can’t do anything else with my hands… like write.
Lucky for me, other people do draw, and sometimes need spare cash. A couple of times, I have commissioned art of my original characters. It’s an interesting process, working with an artist, trying to convey the character in my mind so that they can create that character in their art style. I have tried to match the artist’s style to what I pay to have drawn.
The misunderstanding of one artist changed how I view one of my characters, because I think the idea of angel wings colored like a cathedral’s stained glass window is marvelous. Another artist gave my vampire girl such a sassy face and plump lips that his vision refined my image. It’s a different kind of feedback.
My dream is to someday inspire fanart and/or cosplay. That would be… amazing.